"Marriage to one person is boring."
If you're a guy who views marriage, women and sex this way I'm calling your bluff. You aren't having as much fun as you think you should. When you let yourself think about it you feel empty, worthless, dirty and full of shame. Your conscience haunts you. If not you should be put in a mental hospital for treatment as a sociopath. (Maybe you don't let yourself think about it by downing another beer because the emotional pain is unbearable.) You don't even feel like a man inside that's why you think sex will make you feel like a man. You were created with a need for deep intimacy that can only come about through compassion, sacrifice, commitment, obligation, goals, cooperation, love, and hard work. Sex in marriage is meant to be a tangible expression and victory celebration of what you and your wife have accomplished on a deep, unseen, intangible level. And let me tell you from experience that gets exciting! You will only feel like a real man when you act like one.
If you're a woman, do you really want to have sex with a guy like this? He'll never satisfy your real needs for deep connectedness and intimacy. You won't meet his needs for conquest after he has conquered you. He'll use you and throw you away like the rag you've cleaned up his mess with because after all he doesn't want to get bored having sex with the same woman again and again. You'll just be a trophy for him to brag about. By contrast, your trophy might be an STD, a baby or an abortion. He certainly won't want to make any lifetime commitments to you then. If you do manage to dodge those bullets what you will definitely get is heartache, a feeling of worthlessness, emptiness, shame and despair to name only a few. Be patient, there's a real man out there who will love you with real, selfless love, deeply for the rest of your life.
Ladies you need to send a clear message to these guys, "I wasn't made to be your sex toy! I won't even think about giving my body to you until you consistently demonstrate that you know me and love me for who I am and are willing to promise your faithfulness to me and commit your energies to my well-being. Then, after we are pronounced man and wife, I will give you my body to respect and enjoy. And as our love grows deeper and richer over the years sex will be better than you've ever dreamed."
Now, if your a girl who views marriage as boring then you, too, will only wind up with heartache and despair. Don't do that to yourself. God loves you with a perfect love and that's what you really long for deep down inside. God wants to express that love to you through a husband who will devote his life and energies to your well-being. Only then will sex and marriage be as exciting as God made it to be. I know; I've been married to the same wonderful woman since 1981 and it has not been boring because we've made the right choices to not let it be.
Budziszewski, J. How to Stay Christian in College. Colorado Springs: NavPress. 1999.
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