Response to:
"Sex outside of marriage is more romantic."
Movies can make sex outside of marriage look so romantic. But they show us a false picture--the picture the director wants us to see. If you were on the movie set it wouldn't look so romantic. There would be bright lights, makeup artists, fake scenery and special camera lens and filters (to make that dreamy look). And how romantic can multiple takes be? The actors are working hard to remember and deliver their lines and movements all dictated by the director's instructions. No wonder so many Hollywood marriages don't last. They're just acting out in real life what they are portraying on the movie screen. Fantasies don't last because they can be replaced by another fantasy.
Let's be honest. When we watch those movies the fantasy looks so real and achievable we think we can make it come true in our own lives. But we don't have any props to make it as fulfilling as it appeared on screen. Sex in the back seat of a car isn't as easy as it looked. The dress isn't as gorgeous. Her figure isn't as perfect as the actress's. He isn't as self-assured as James Bond. We become disappointed only to try it again with someone else because we think we can make it work this time. The "ever after" part isn't so happy. There's the pregnancy, the disease, the broken heart and mistrust in future relationships. The same would have happened to the movie characters if there was a sequel.
J. Budziszewski (pronounced "Boo-gee-shef-ski") asks,
Women, how romantic is it to stand buck-naked in front of a man who hasn't committed his life to you? The only time it's romantic to be completely vulnerable to a man is when you know you're absolutely safe with him: He isn't going to give you a disease, he isn't going to get you pregnant and then tell you to have an abortion, he isn't going to be sleeping with other women, he isn't going to leave you--all because he cares more about what's truly good for you than he cares about himself. Yes, being vulnerable to a man in that case really is romantic. But the name of that case is marriage. Only marriage can offer that kind of romance; only marriage can offer that kind of excitement. Men, this is for you too. Let's be honest, can we? The truth is that many of us are even more romantic than women are, but in a different way. As the historians can tell you, we were the ones who invented the romantic ideal of knighthood. Now let's turn the tables; How romantic is it to put a woman in the position of standing buck-naked in front of you when you haven't committed your life to her? For that matter, how romantic is it to get her pregnant? Or to give her a disease? If that's what you're doing, aren't you really treating her like a prostitute, not a lover? There's a difference between being a "john" and being a man. The knight honors, adores, and protects his lady; he doesn't use her.
Remember that sex doesn't equal romance. Dogs have sex but not romance. But you can have romance without sex; and only humans can do that.
References
Budziszewski, J. How to Stay Christian in College. Colorado Springs: NavPress. 1999. p. 84.
Copyright 2005. Gary C. Burger and New Media Ministries. This article may be reproduced and distributed freely as long as it is done so in its entirety. If quoted it must be properly cited as a reference.
